I’ve been hesitant to post, mostly because for the past two months, better known as “Holiday Season”, watching what I eat has not been a priority, nor has going to the gym. I didn’t go all crazy and eat everything in sight, I did practice some semblance of self-control, and somehow, I escaped the holidays with just an added seven pounds on the scale. To some that may not seem like a whole lot, but to a girl like me that gets giddy about the scale dropping just one pound lower, that’s fairly significant. Like, look in the mirror and do an inner-hate speech for ten minutes about how much you disgust yourself and then go to the closet and immediately hate every piece of clothing you own.
A new year or even a new decade does not mean all the self-doubt and insecurities suddenly disappear because you made a vow to make some changes. Damn. Too bad it doesn’t work that way, right? So I’m standing there in front of the mirror in the middle of my speech when my eyes flick to the note card with my weight written down. That was back in October when I was watching portions and going to the gym five times a week, I was feeling great! I was nearly to my first goal! I am not back to where I started. Deep sigh. Look at my reflection. Adjust my attitude. If I can do this once. I can certainly do it again. I pull my hair up in a pony tail ( the universal sign for every girl that means “Bring it on! ) and give my reflection a brief nod and stalk out of the bathroom determined to quell the negative girl inside me and let the positive girl take the lead.
Here is the New Decade – may the next 10 years bring me the changes I am striving for and for every person that ever called me Fat, Elephant, Thunder Thighs, Big Mama, Humongous, Hippo, Pig, Fatso, Slob, and the slew of other wonderful things that made me believe I was truly the side show in a circus… I hope one day you will feel better about yourself so you won’t have to make someone feel bad about themselves.
MY ADIPOSE & ME 