When I was a kid, our family physician described me as a “Meat and Potatoes” kind of girl, to my mother.
As a teen, I had a guy tell me that if I did a few lines of cocaine, I could lose the weight and be pretty, and a classmate who often reference me as “elephant” as she passed me in the halls.
As a young adult, I came out of the grocery store to find advertisements on the windshield of my car for a weight loss clinic and well-meaning friends, strangers and colleagues sharing unsolicited weight loss tips with me.
These are only a few examples of the fat-shaming I have personally experienced. There are countless others, so many that it’s become more like a white noise in the background of my life. I am not the first to be victimized by this type of “well-intended” advice that hovers on the precipice of bullying. Fat-shaming has been around for decades.
Fat shaming is the practice of making a person feeling inferior, anxious, guilty or embarrassed about their body shape or size. The thought process behind this act is the belief that it will inspire and motivate people to lose weight and live a healthier lifestyle. When in fact, it does quite the opposite in most cases.
There is no positive effect that comes out of such bullying and discrimination that hides in the form of fat shaming. Often, it discourages action such as exercising or joining a weight-loss clinic in fear of judgement from others. It makes the recipient feel bad about themselves and discourages them from being a part of the world around them because they have been targeted as being “not right”.
Low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, eating disorders and suicide are all mental health issues that are put more at risk when the weight stigma is applied. I wish I could tell you it was always outsiders doing this, but sadly it is not. Family members, the people you are supposed to love and trust unconditionally, will sometimes have the strongest effect of anti-fat bias. They are connected to you, so they don’t hold back or sugar-coat it as they would with a friend or a stranger. Their words seem to hurt more. There is one that is above all, your worse fat-shame bully. You. The things you say about yourself to others, how you make fun of yourself or put yourself down. All this negative commentary is the worst kind of Fat Shaming.
The social stigma of obesity is a sort of silent fat shaming. Instead of being spoken out loud for all to hear, its more implied through actions. The weight stigma of an obese person being lazy, unintelligent, lack of willpower, unmotivated and incompetent, is present in many levels of employment. This includes healthcare, education, politics and multiple media forms.
An example of this silent bias is your Healthcare professionals. It has been reported that if you have a larger body mass index (BMI) doctors tend to spend less time with you, give you less health education, seem less respectful, use harsh language to describe your body. Fortunately, I have never experienced this. Every doctor I have encountered has given me good sound advice and has not blamed my every health problem on my weight. Nor have I been passed up for promotions (that I am aware of), and I have certainly never been let go from a job for my weight. But it does happen to people, it’s not a story being made up.
You cannot expect the world to change their opinion. They will think what they want to think. You can make people aware of their bullying, “Fat-Shaming”, even though it may be well-intended. Call them out on the behavior, you are not less than a person because you are carrying some extra weight.
You can learn to stop being your own bully. Teach yourself to stop the negative self-talk. You are not a joke; you shouldn’t be making jokes on your own behalf. You should be shouting out your good qualities.
Stop pointing out everything you believe is wrong with yourself. You can hear yourself talking, do you like hearing that? No. Start talking about the things you love, stop focusing on your body. Your body is only a part of who you are as a person.
Learn to form a friendship with food rather than be in a hostage situation. Food doesn’t own you. If you want to lose weight, you need food to be on your side.
Some things said to you will stay in your memory forever. Like the examples I shared at the beginning of this piece. Moments in time that meant nothing to the deliverer but impacted me for a lifetime. I could let them define me or let them simply be a part of the story that created the woman I am today. I still feel judged at times when I am out in public. I don’t know if its really happening, after all most people are too absorbed in their own world to worry about what I’m doing. I know my feelings are my own insecurities. Those do not magically go away, but I have learned how to gracefully stop those who want to give me friendly “weight-loss” advice I haven’t asked for.
“Oh, thank you so much! Is that what you’re doing to lose weight too?” This statement will shock the slender, fitter folks wanting to “help” and it will generally quiet them as well.
Here are a few articles you may find of interest :
Morbidly obese, perpetually hungry and unapologetically in love with myself (msn.com)
The Harmful Effects of Fat Shaming (healthline.com)
Effects of fat shaming on mental and physical health (medicalnewstoday.com)
Fat Phobia, Fat Shaming, Weight Bias: How to Respond (webmd.com)
Body Shaming: The Effects and How to Overcome it – HelpGuide.org
MY ADIPOSE & ME 
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