Author: HeatherLynn

                 I abandoned this blog.  I gave up on my journey of a happy, healthier me. Failure was what I was good at and when it knocked on the door, I eagerly opened it.   The calorie counting, the portion control, the exercising and the mindful eating did not seem to make a bit of difference.   I was over 50 and nature was against me.  I embraced my failure and pretended I had never written any of this material.

                 Here I am again.  Like a moth drawn to a light, back at the prospect of being a healthier new me and the idea of writing again.   I have had some changes in my life since my last entry.  I will probably write about them at some point.    

                 About a year ago, my younger brother started talking to me about Intermittent Fasting.  He was going to give it a try. He was well approaching the 400 lb mark and concerned about his future.  Like myself, he had tried fads, dieting, pills and a myriad of other things over the years.   As the two middle children of four, we were the ones who inherited the “fat” genes.  ( Yes I said “fat”, get over it ) While the eldest and the youngest were blessed with the “slim” genes.   I had heard of the Intermittent Fasting over the years and my first response to his announcement was “I could never starve myself like that, its just impossible.”    He said he was going to try anyway.     He began his quest and started texting, emailing and calling me with results of his own journey.   His success at this attempt was proving to be very successful.  The more he talked the more I began to believe it was possible to do.

                 Reluctantly I began to think about it as I forced myself to walk at least a mile four times a week and the scale still wouldn’t budge.  With hesitance, I agreed to give it go.    I started reading up on it, I got books, I watched videos and then in September, I began.

                 Its going to be June tomorrow.   I’ve lost 65 lbs.    

I’m ready to talk again.  

According to www.dictionary.com   this is the definition of “Adipose” :

adjective

fatty; consisting of, resembling, or relating to fat.

noun

animal fat stored in the fatty tissue of the body.

If you are a Whovian, you know that an Adipose is actually an adorable wide-eyed little critter with one tooth that waddles like a penguin and waves at you.  They are a product of the fat they ingest from the host ( in this case humans ).   Here is a link you can read about it if you are unfamiliar  https://tardis.fandom.com/wiki/Adipose

Regardless of how you interpret it, the Adipose is your companion for life, some of us just have more of it than others and that would seem like a good thing but in this case, too much Adipose is bad!   Americans have let the Adipose pretty much take over their life, not saying that other countries haven’t , but since I live in America, that’s what I know for fact.    Our lifestyles now are so different than they were even 40 years ago when I was a kid.

There are more choices at the grocery store.  This is good and bad at the same time.  Great because you have a variety and won’t get bored with the same selection.  Bad because so much processed and junk food full of sugar and chemicals and things to make you crave more and honestly – your body does not need those things, it just likes the feel good feeling they bring.

Way too many fast food places and restaurants.   It was once considered a treat to go out to dinner or to get to stop somewhere for burgers and fries.  Now it’s common place.

Convenience stores.   Yes they are!  Got a craving for ice cream at two in the morning?  How about a bag of chips or even a pizza?

The way I see it, if we had less choices and less conveniences, it would be far easier to fight the invasion of the Adipose Army.   As a society we ( and I am just as guilty as the rest of you ) love our sugar, chips, hamburgers and fries.   We love that we can hop in the car no matter what time of the day or night and drive to the nearest store and give in to our cravings.    We are so inherently lazy because we don’t have to work hard to get what we want.

I tend to enjoy the meals I make at home much better now than the ones I get at a restaurant.  I’m actually kind of wary about those outside meals – being on a Keto diet, I want to know exactly how that food is prepared and I’m 99% sure my wait person isn’t getting paid enough to care.

Well, here’s to everyone and their Adipose companions, may you walk in peace together!

A doctor once told my mom I was a “Meat-and-Potatoes” girl.  I was probably about 6 or 7 at the time but the phrase stuck with me.  I understood much later in life he was gently trying to tell her that I was going to have a weight problem if I didn’t slow down.   Looking back at my photos, I really didn’t have a “problem” so to speak.   I had a belly.  I was bigger than most girls my age.  However, I wasn’t qualified to be a circus attraction though you could not have convinced “Teenage Me” of anything otherwise.    After all, I did really love potatoes and I have always had a passion for a good greasy cheeseburger.

Somewhere around the age of 22,  I went through this amazing transformation and just trimmed down amazingly, mostly in part to a casino job where I was walking around for 40 plus hours a week with a weighted belt around my waist.   Unfortunately, I never learned the discipline of eating well and I continued to just eat whatever I wanted and dream of having flat stomach.  I didn’t make a lot of effort of actually getting that flat stomach, it was much easier to feel sorry for myself and resent all the women who seemed to come by it naturally.

Life happens.  Stress happens.   Stress is a major factor in weight gain.   Things in my life led me to a few years of living off vending machines and convenience stores because that was about all my schedule allowed time for.  Ever notice how easily a bad habit will form?   I’m telling you what.  A bad habit is hard to shake and after I finally straightened things out in my life, a lot of the bad eating habits had taken up permanent residency.

I’m serving eviction notices this year.   Thus far, my body has been on board with it.   The first few days there was some pull back and procrastination in the form of aches and pains and a complete lack of energy.  I think my mind and my body are starting to talk on more equally terms now.   Its almost like the Brain was reasoning with the body and saying,  “Just try it my way for a few weeks and if you still don’t feel a difference we can go back to your way of doing things.”

Honestly, I think my Brain cheated.   I think the endorphins of trying new meals and recipes is like some sort of thrill and that gives my Brain this extra boost that actually benefits my body so my body is like “Hey, this really DOES feel better than what I was doing and the food is actually awesome!”

Tonight… its Easy Creamy Garlic Parmesan Pork Chops… with a nice little side salad…  BOOM!

Let’s face it.  Dieting as a couple can be the best support system in the world.  You can’t hide from one another, you share your meals and you have someone that knows your tells when you lie so there is no hiding the fact if you have a cheat.  Your partner can be your motivator for those days that you “just don’t feel it” and that is exactly what you need, someone to give you that push when the lazy shows up.

The downside of this is if you are the girl in the partnership, you need to brace yourself for the fact that your man is definitely going to lose weight faster than you are.  Its just science and there is nothing you can do about it no matter how frustrating it is.  This is what’s happening in my household right now.  We are sixteen days into the Keto.  I am following it religiously with no cheats other than the fact that I’ve not gotten to the gym yet ( I have reasons… not good ones, just reasons ).  My man on the other hand has had many cheats but still follows fairly close.   I’ve lost around 10lbs.   He looks like he has lost three pant sizes.   My pants still fit exactly the same way.   I have no idea how much he has actually lost but the fact that its noticeable tells me that he is having better success.    Arrrggghhhh!!!     Listen, I know I’m doing this right.  About 1 or 2 pounds a week is safe and healthy, however, I am envious of his results verses my own!   I comfort myself knowing that God made women differently.  He created us to have some extra padding for the babies and to make sure that padding didn’t disappear easily.   It is a gift not a curse.   I must keep reminding myself of this.   Eventually I will see a difference, I’m just impatient.

On the positive side of things, my culinary skills are growing.  I’ve learned to create several new dishes. With the plethora of websites available devoted to the Keto lifestyle, I have my pick of things to learn and experiment with.  Thus far we have enjoyed a spinach and mushroom frittata, cauliflower steaks, taco casserole, cheese chips, avocado chips, Fathead Pizza and stuffed green peppers.     As it stands even the non-Keto loving kid in the house is noshing on the goodies and has found them favorable.

I’m not exceptionally hungry at meal times and my portions have grown smaller and smaller.  I drink hot tea and water most of the day, limiting my coffee to just one or two cups in the morning ( I finally bought some heavy whipping cream for it ).   I’m learning quickly, even with the limitations, this is not a very difficult diet to follow with the right mindset.

This sums up the first two weeks of the lifestyle change.  Everyone asks how long I plan on doing this.  My initial answer is “Until I lose the inches”, however it may be a habit by that time so it could be a lifetime change.  At this point, I’m just not certain.

I am nearing the end of day nine of the new diet.  My significant other and I decided in November that we would embark on the adventure of Keto and I think we vastly underestimated how much bread and pasta we used on a daily basis!    I did a lot of research on this diet before beginning, I know the pros and cons of it and I know it is a hard one to maintain.  It seems rather odd that someone with weak willpower would dive into a diet that has a parameter such as “Hard to maintain without good willpower”, but here I am and so far… I’m still on it.

What surprised me so far about it ( besides the bread and pasta dilemma ),  milk is actually not really acceptable.   Almond milk is but regular cow’s milk is not.  That one is difficult for a girl that likes a big glass of cold milk with her evening meal!    Cheese is great on the diet, as long as you’re noshing the hard cheeses and going super light on those soft ones.  Apparently Brie is good so I tried Brie for the first time ever and I was not disappointed.    There have been other surprises, however, we’ll move forward.

My first time at the grocery store was brutal.  I walked in and was suddenly struck with how many things there were actually not on the “okay” list.   The limit felt horrible at first but after the first few days, I realized that what is acceptable is actually very substantial. I do have to go shopping a bit more often since avocados do not like to hang out for long periods of time and the lettuce is no longer marinating at the bottom of the refrigerator like a forgotten leftover.

At home, cooking has become a bit of a fun thing.  I am learning new recipes and so far so good, I’m rarely hungry.    I made cauliflower steaks a few nights ago and they were fantastic!

That is the basics of it.  Truth is, I get up a bit earlier so I can make a Keto-friendly breakfast that is usually some bacon and scrambled eggs with some mushrooms and green peppers mixed in.     Lunch is nearly always a whole avocado, a boiled egg, two slices of either turkey or chicken,  a 1/4 cup of berries ( blue berries, raspberries, or blackberries ) and about 4 oz of some sort of cheese.    I drink two cups of coffee with half and half in the morning ( I’m supposed to use whole cream but where do I find it???), and the rest of the day I have been drinking hot green tea or bottled water.  Dinner has been some sort of meat entree and a salad or a veggie like peas, broccoli or cauliflower.    My workout plan at the gym did NOT happen at all this week due to scheduling conflicts, but that should straighten out next week and I’ll be adding gym workouts three days a week.

As of tonight I have lost 8lbs.    I realize this pace won’t continue, I will have to change up how I do things because I will either grow bored with what I’m doing, or my life will interrupt and force me to make a bad choice or I will plateau and lose my motivation.   I know me.   If you are reading this, make sure you send me encouragement, you may be the reason I keep going on my trek to make myself healthier!

I’ve been hesitant to post, mostly because for the past two months, better known as “Holiday Season”, watching what I eat has not been a priority, nor has going to the gym.  I didn’t go all crazy and eat everything in sight, I did practice some semblance of self-control, and somehow, I escaped the holidays with just an added seven pounds on the scale.  To some that may not seem like a whole lot, but to a girl like me that gets giddy about the scale dropping just one pound lower, that’s fairly significant.  Like, look in the mirror and do an inner-hate speech for ten minutes about how much you disgust yourself and then go to the closet and immediately hate every piece of clothing you own.

A new year or even a new decade does not mean all the self-doubt and insecurities suddenly disappear because you made a vow to make some changes.  Damn.  Too bad it doesn’t work that way, right?   So I’m standing there in front of the mirror in the middle of my speech when my eyes flick to the note card with my weight written down.  That was back in October when I was watching portions and going to the gym five times a week, I was feeling great!  I was nearly to my first goal!   I am not back to where I started. Deep sigh.  Look at my reflection.  Adjust my attitude.    If I can do this once.   I can certainly do it again.    I pull my hair up in a pony tail ( the universal sign for every girl that means  “Bring it on! ) and give my reflection a brief nod and stalk out of the bathroom determined to quell the negative girl inside me and let the positive girl take the lead.

Here is the New Decade –  may the next 10 years bring me the changes I am striving for and for every person that ever called me Fat, Elephant, Thunder Thighs,  Big Mama, Humongous, Hippo, Pig, Fatso, Slob, and the slew of other wonderful things that made me believe I was truly the side show in a circus…      I hope one day you will feel better about yourself so you won’t have to make someone feel bad about themselves.

I started this blog several years ago and then abandoned it- for reasons that can all boil down to the fact that I fell off the wagon and started back to ignoring my general health and well-being.  We can all admit that taking that road is far easier than actually working at being healthy and taking the steps to ensure you are doing everything to ensure you live a long and happy life.  I mean, being healthy is real work!  It means making time to go to the gym. It means reading labels. It means calculating amounts of calories and sodium and fat content.  It means portion control and ignoring sudden cravings.    Your body likes to trick you and tell you that it wants something really bad like a cheeseburger and fries, it neglects to give you the disclaimer that it will also clog your arteries and add inches to your waistline.   Wouldn’t it be great if our bodies could give us disclaimers on the food we were about to eat?   I’m sure our decisions on eating certain foods would certainly be different!   At least we would be more mindful of what we eat.

However, we do not have that built in programming to tell us that two plates of nachos and three 32oz cups of soda is actually bad for us.  We have to learn this and make the decision not to indulge.  And sometimes…  sometimes that’s just hard.

There are some people in this world blessed with an amazing metabolism.  They can eat anything and everything and still maintain a sleek and slender physique.  They have no problem with exercising and motivation and their energy levels are just top notch.   I am not one of these people.  Many of us are not these people.   Our metabolism is just average.  It does the job but we have to eat the right foods, the ones that nourish it and spike its interest.  And after the age of 40, that metabolism decides its going to get cantankerous and slows down to a crawl like a decrepit old man crossing the street.   You have to work even harder to shed pounds and what worked when you were 20 will take four times as long to work after you’re 40.   This is frustrating and annoying and you just give up.   That’s what I did.   I gave up.  I threw caution to the wind and decided to just let nature take its course and ate what I wanted to eat, refused to exercise and to hell with portion control.    It was freeing.   It was damaging.

My escape to freedom cost me.   My blood pressure went out of control, my cholesterol levels shot up, my motivation become nil.   This is not good!  I’ll be 50 years old in the coming year, much too young to be on multiple prescriptions.   So back in July of this year I made a pact with myself to do something about getting off these prescriptions.  I have a workout buddy whom I will mention off and on in this blog –  we hit the gym at least three to four times a week.  The only difference I’ve seen so far is that my energy levels are back up.  I just haven’t been trying hard enough in all areas.  As a joke one morning I texted her and asked her if she was meeting me up for “Project Fix Our Fat Asses” that night.   It was then that the concept of  “Project FOFA” was born.   Project FOFA is all about getting ourselves healthy again, both physically and mentally.  Its not just about exercise and counting calories, its about girl talk and friendship and learning how to navigate in a world that makes it easy to fall of the wagon and hard to stay on.

I look forward to writing more about this project and hopefully recruiting others to join our fun as we fight the beast of being healthy!