Tag: feelings

Posted in Emotional Well-Being, intermittent-fasting

I am my own Enemy

Posted on by HeatherLynn

Does Fasting Work?   That’s the one question I am asked frequently.  My answer… its the ONLY thing that has worked for me.   I have tried many variations of fad diets, portion control and calorie counting, and it all ended with me being frustrated.  Honestly, even the Intermittent Fasting brought me to the point of frustration, and I had to sit down and have a hard look at things. 

All my life I have identified as the “fat girl”, the “chubby woman”, the girl with love handles and jiggly thighs.   That’s who I know and that is who society knows.  I am accustomed to a certain way of deference from others… subtle judging glances as I fill my grocery cart,  not so subtle stares as I chuff by in my shorts that insist on riding up the inside of my thighs forcing me to do the awkward pull and leg shake to fix the problem.  I admit, I am most likely only imagining most of this, people are very self-absorbed and have no interest in those around them while in public.   However, being out there, I have always been very aware of how large I am.    It’s like the times I’ve gone in the woman’s section to look at clothes and I just “knew” the women there were asking themselves why I thought I was going to find anything at all that would fit me in that section.  I was up here in the first class, and I needed to get my rotund butt back over to lower-class where the sold the clothes by square foot.   

I dropped 80lbs.  People were smiling more at me.   I was getting appreciative looks and direct eye-contact.    My cart had fresh veggies and fruits in it and not a single item of junk food or sugar.   I was still very aware of being out there, but now it felt amazing!  I was lighter and moving quicker and it was like being on a sort of natural high.    I was actually achieving a goal I had only dreamed of for decades!  

Then the self-saboteur came knocking.    She looks like me, the “old” me.   She told me things like, “Its cool to back off on the fasting a bit now, you got this” and she would look at the clock and shrug, “two scoops of ice cream at 9 pm isn’t going to kill you”.    I was oblivious to her tactics, I still felt good, although I admit my energy wasn’t quite the same.  Then I was watching more tv and finding excuses to sit down rather than get up and move around.    My weight loss stopped.   It went beyond a plateau, it came to a screeching halt, tires squealing.    I gave half-hearted attempts to return to my patterns but my “get up and go” was gone.     Jumping into the mix came a back injury, an excuse not to move much, but also a discovery that when i am in severe pain, I EAT.    

I wasn’t gaining, but I wasn’t losing.   Ten months down the road and I hurt my shoulder.  More pain and realization that things are not going my way at all.   This time I sat down and had a chat with my doctor.   It was obvious that I had lost my motivation and in our discussion we both agreed that I had sabotaged myself.    The question is WHY???   I don’t have the full answer, not yet.   I’m still working on that part.   I think part of it is that I suddenly didn’t know my part anymore.   After decades of being the “fat girl” , I wasn’ t her any longer and it threw me for a curve.    That’s something I’ll need to work on. 

In the meantime,  I am back on track with my Intermittent Fasting.   My doctor visit was the motivation I needed to get me back.   I don’t want to go back to where I was.  The only option is to pick myself up and keep moving forward.  

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Posted in Emotional Well-Being, Encouragement/Motivation

2025 The Pilgrimage Continues

Posted on by HeatherLynn

It is the final day of the year marking the end of one of the many legs of the journey to happier, healthier lifestyle.   To say it has been fraught with mishaps and complications would be dead-on accurate.   This journey, like life itself, will never be problem free and I accept that.  The unexpected will happen, the diversions, the temptations, the doubts and misgivings.   All that matters is that I have emerged at this end better than what I plunged in at!  

I am looking forward to continuing this journey.  Can I still call it a journey or is it something more epic now?  Should I call it more a like a personal pilgrimage?  Whatever I refer to this as, it is certainly a new way of life.     

What does the next twelve months have in store for me?  I honestly cannot tell you.   I can share with you my hopes, my goals, my intentions, and then life is going to step in and let me know what really is going to happen.   I accept that, this is why I do not make New Year’s Resolutions.   I understand there are just too many variables in my life that can throw me off track.  

This is what I’ll do :

  1. Recognize my weaknesses –   when I travel/visit relatives/ social gatherings   I have a lot of trouble staying on point with my eating habits.    I also found that I like to bake, but cannot resist the temptation of testing my results so I need to refrain from that activity.    
  1. Keep my Focus –   remind myself daily the reasoning behind my journey and the way I feel now verses the way I felt before starting.   
  1. Use the Apps – there are apps to help with Fasting, Tracking Exercise, Logging Food, and nearly anything you can think of.  USE THEM RELIGIOUSLY 
  1. Exercise at minimum 15-20 minutes a day.   This means a brisk walk if nothing else.   You should be trying to do more a few times a week, but the daily 15 is better than nothing at all.    
  1. Adhere to your schedule –  I drifted from my fasting schedule a few times and I’ve paid the price with a stubborn plateau.   Stick to your schedule.  
  1. Don’t let other people’s bad habits take you off course. –   If you live with someone who isn’t 100% supportive,  that is on them.   Stick to your guns and if they wish to eat and practice habits that do not coincide with your journey, do not enable them by getting them their “fixes” { junk food; processed food; candy; etc }  
  1. Look in the mirror every morning and give yourself a smile and say “Good Morning! Let’s do this! “  

HAPPY NEW YEAR!  

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Posted in Emotional Well-Being, Encouragement/Motivation

Setting Goals

Posted on by HeatherLynn

December –   Its the final month of the year.   A time we can look back and reflect on the prior months and see our success stories and our stumbles.     Did you achieve every goal you set for yourself last January?   Most likely, you did not.   This doesn’t mean you are a failure, it simply shows that life has a way of interrupting plans.       

Now is the time to grab a notebook and jot down some new goals.    We do not refer to them as resolutions since resolutions almost always end up as failed attempts.   Instead we shall refer to them as goals to work towards as we step into the next twelve months of our busy lives.  

  1. Drink Water every day  –  that’s a simple goal and one you can track.   I am not a huge fan of plain water unless its from my own well and has ice in it.   I like the flavored, no-calorie seltzers like Waterloo and Bubly.    They replaced soda in my refrigerator and not only are they healthier, they are easier on the wallet.   
  1. Move every day –   be creative with this.  Your lifestyle will dictate how you want to make this happen.   If you are urban, go for a tour in the city under the guise of a photography walk.  Take pictures and explore.  Go to a museum,  the park, play frisbee, or simply turn on YouTube to DannyGo and do some simple exercises meant for children but are actually really fun.    If you are rural, we all know that you will be out there mowing, raking, building, fixing, walking…  just keep doing it!    
  1. Eat Healthy –  ( healthier )  groceries are expensive and we all now the healthier it is, the more it seems to cost.   However, your body will benefit from the fresh fruits and vegetables.  Skip the processed meals, and avoid all those chemicals and preservatives!       Limit your fast food to twice a month,  eat out as special occasion and not as a regular ritual.   Cooking and preparing your meals at home helps control your portions and also opens you up to a world of dishes you would never find in a restaurant. 
  1. Learn a new skill or hobby.    This is a very important goal.   You are never too old to learn new things and taking up a new hobby fuels your motivation.   This can be anything from raising animals to painting, cake decorating, or even ballroom dancing.    Whatever it is, have fun with it, you deserve it!  

You don’t have to wait until January first to begin your new journey.   You can start today.  Every day you have is precious and you should not waste a single one.   The date on the calendar is merely a guideline for reference, the power to change is all in your hands and ready when you are.  

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Posted in Emotional Well-Being, Encouragement/Motivation

Getting Back on Track

Posted on by HeatherLynn

Autumn is a great time of the year… it is also the marker for when I tend to struggle the hardest with my ability to stay focused on my journey.   There are Fall Festivals everywhere, and at those festivals you will find loads of yummy-not-good-healthy-choice foods.   I’m weak when it comes to corndogs, funnel cakes and cotton candy.  
There’s also this instinctive nature of mine to start foraging and stocking up for the coming colder months.  Like a bear, I want to start eating the heavier calorie dense foods to sustain me.    Squash and rice are great, but they must be taken in smaller portions than my cravings want.   Topping the list of things are my weekend excursions to see family.   No matter how well I plan, no matter how good my intentions, when I am around family I tend to relax more, and I eat more in the name of “having some fun” as well as imbibing in the alcoholic beverage.   

Add these things up and you have a girl who is struggling to stay on track.  This journey is only 20% diet, 10% exercise and, I daresay, 70% mental.   You must dig deep and find that self-control.  I look in the mirror and now I have a bit of stress that if I fall too far, I will reverse everything I have accomplished.   I can come up with numerous reasons why I am struggling, but let’s be honest, that is all they really are.   Justifying my inability to have a little self-control. 

To get back on track, I have set a loose plan. 

#1 – Remove the 3 bags of candies I purchased on a whim and take them anywhere but where I can get to them.   It was a stupid impulse purchase and knowing they are there is detrimental to me.

#2 – Remind myself that one year ago I was just starting out and was able to do this.  Get back in that mindset by setting up some prepared meals and drinking more water.

#3 – Stick to my Fasting hours like it is a life-or-death decision.   If I convince myself that breaking the fast will hurt me physically, that will help.   (you would be surprised how easy it is to convince yourself of things)

#4 – KEEP BUSY physically.    When I’m busy with things that require lots of movement of my body, I tend to forget about food.   The idea here is that I’m not bored and I’m getting exercise.

#5- Go play Golf.   I just bought a used set of clubs.   I don’t know how to play golf well; in fact, I am terrible at it.   Its excellent exercise and I’ll be outside on a course well away from temptations. 

Of course I will continue my rules of Intermittent Fasting, more protein, less carbs.   I will also attempt my first dip into the pool of Prolonged Fasting, perhaps just a 24 hour fast to get a feel for it. 

Regardless of what I do, the important thing is that I am being proactive and not just letting my old habits slide in and take over.   That person no longer exists. 

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Posted in The Dust Covered Entries

Eating Feelings

Posted on by HeatherLynn

Boredom – I know who I am. When I am restless or bored I gravitate to the kitchen and start rummaging. Hunger is not the driving force in this quest, it is sheer and utter boredom. Standing in front of the refrigerator and eyeing the jar of Spanish olives is certainly a good clue.


Sadness or better known as comfort eating. When I am feeling down, I crave greasy diner cheeseburgers and fries. They are my number one comfort food. I know as I’m settling into nosh on this delectable meal that I am 100% battling some heartache, depression or just plain sadness in my life.


In Sight – put it in front of me and I’m going to graze. I have zero self-control when it comes to chips and salsa in Mexican restaurants and if you were to put a plate of cheese and crackers in front of me, I would exhibit the same behavior. The food is there, it smells good. My senses tell me how awesome it will taste and I will gorge myself upon it until I am miserable with pain.


Obligation – if someone cooks me a meal or brings me food, I will eat it so I don’t hurt feelings. I may have just had a snack or may not feel hungry in the slightest, but I don’t want to offend so I eat as much as I feel is acceptable. People want to see you appreciate their gesture. I obviously have an issue with placing boundaries.


Clean Plate Syndrome – this once was an issue for me. I grew up in a home where you did not leave the table until your plate was clean. I had to train myself to take smaller portions and if not possible, be okay with leaving a little on the plate. It actually works out in my favor doing this as I now make extra so I can prep a meal for my next day’s lunch.


Power of Suggestion – seeing it on screen, or having a memory hit of some wonderful treat and then obsessing about that food item to the point that I will drive to the store/restaurant to get it. There was a 40 mile road trip to get pie one night because it sounded good.

Do I eat my feelings? ABSOLUTELY

I need to work on that.