For the past twenty years, I have dreaded going to a restaurant and being seated in a booth. It literally caused me anxiety when I was led by an unassuming waitperson to what appeared to be simple booth. In my mind’s eye, though, I was seeing at minimum, thirty minutes of torture. The heavier I became, the worse the torture. Squeezing my bulging belly in there and having to sit for those uncomfortable minutes while pretending nothing was wrong. It hurt to breath, it hurt to move and let’s not even talk about my generous top half that refused to get out of the way. Thankfully I have a partner who is very understanding and would graciously take a table if I spoke up and said something. I didn’t say anything in the beginning, but I learned to speak up and say something to both him and to my waitperson when they asked, “Booth okay?” No, a booth is not okay, look at me. Do I look like I would fit in one of those torture chambers? Please don’t do that to me.
It was just one of the many things about being overweight I had to accept and adjust my life around. People with a healthier lifestyle may never understand such frustration and embarrassment of not fitting properly in a restaurant booth, but believe me, its there. It ranks right up with not being able to ride on a roller coaster because the restraints won’t click in because there’s just too much bulk of you; or not fitting into a chair with arms comfortably because your extra thigh girth has no where to go so you feel like you’ve been forced like a square peg in a round hole. The list of weight issues that are not health related is long and varied, and anyone who is overweight tends to just suck it up and live with that silently. We know. We see other people being able to do what we cannot and we mentally beat ourselves up and then comfort ourselves with something sugary or deep-fried. At that point we feel even worse so we decide to try once again to get healthier and we jump into another attempt to shed the pounds. We might do well for a week or two, then we start to falter. Something happens and we stumble and the comfort foods do what they have always done for us, they bring us comfort. It is a horrible cycle.
It is liberating to break the cycle.
Finding the right course of action on your journey to a healthier you is like breaking out of prison. You begin to see the world differently. The old fears are still there and you are in disbelief that anything has actually changed. Then you step into that restaurant and the only available seating is a booth. Gulp! You slid in and …. There are actually inches of space between you and the edge of the table! INCHES! It was at this very point in my journey that I knew I was going to be successful. Up until that point, I was skeptical, despite what the scale was reading.
Don’t give up on yourself. Look forward to the inches of air between you and the edge of the table.
MY ADIPOSE & ME 
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